In a strange way, I envy Woke people. They don’t need to think. Thinking is tiring. And hard. Imagine the free time you’d have if you didn’t have to parse nuance or consider context when evaluating something. What an unburdening from the grueling labor of cognition.
If you’re Woke, here’s all you need to know to discover your position on a subject— any subject. And that is: Who is the Oppressor, and who is the Victim? And what’s even better, you don’t have to think about this, either!
All you need to do is sip your Vegan1 sagebrush-extract smoothie and wait for the self-appointed thought leaders to tell you what you believe.
And where to show up for the protest.
Quick— head back to your dorm room (paid for by your parents who you no longer talk to, unless you’re berating them because they refuse to accept your latest gender identity) and grab your black hoodie, your Black Lives Matter® selfie stick (“wook peeps, I’m at a pwotest for Powestinian fweedom!”), your Antifa backpack, and of course, your Marxist-approved bullhorn, and head for the streets.
Ready, Aim— Chant!2
Once you arrive, look for the trailer filled with pre-printed protest signs and pick your favorite. Be sure to get a Palestinian flag, too. If you’re at a “mostly-peaceful” protest, pallets of fresh, unused bricks and pre-filled Molotov Cocktails will be available (butane lighters by request).
Now that you’re properly laden with virtue-signalling protest gear, head for the big crowd over there, where the green-haired protest leader will prompt you with the chant du moment. If the organizer is on break, simply work with “Hey, hey, ho, ho (fill in the blank) has got to go!”
Queers for Palestine is like Children for Pedophilia3
This development, along with Ivy League presidents failing to recognize calls to genocide and Supreme Court nominees who don’t know what a woman is, have exposed the Woke Left for the shallow ideology that it is.
The knee-jerk tendency to side with the underdog— any and all underdogs— without consideration of any other factors, is why we see hordes of college students and other idiots clogging the streets cheering for a murderous cult that wishes to upgrade to genocide as soon as possible. Included in that proposed bloodbath are queer people. Here’s how our nontraditional citizens can help Hamas reach its goals: DIY queer-tossing!
If these deluded nitwits decided to take action instead of pointless windbagging here at home, and booked flights to Gaza (there’s a GoFundMe idea), upon arrival they would be ceremoniously tossed to their deaths off the roofs of tall buildings, assuming there are any tall buildings left. I’d guess you need about four stories to be sure of lethality. That said, if the queer-tossing is unsuccessful, the tossed queer can add “differently abled” to zir’s list of intersectional grievances.
We have plenty of tall buildings right here in the United States to accommodate all the queer-tossing needs of Hamas and the other wacko Islamicist groups. LGBTQIAdnausem promoters can save themselves and the Palestinians a lot of money and effort by jumping off the Sears Tower or other skyscraper instead of going to Gaza to get it done there.
Doris checks in for a pointless exercise.4
Having replaced the traditional torch with a selfie-stick, our hapless Wokie is now deep in the epicenter of the protest— which, as with every other protest, will accomplish nothing of substance. Zir and zir’s contemporaries will not change anything.
From the River to the Sea, I Feel Better About Me.
That’s because the whole spectacle is designed to make the Wokie feel good, knowing zir is “on the right side of History,” which, oddly, is the Left side of History. Or is it Herstory? Zirstory?
Only a Wokie could be convinced to support a group that wants to kill them. That’s because their beliefs are received, not concluded. How often have people explained their mistakes by claiming “I was just following orders”?
Can a Vegan identify as an animal, or only plants? “Mo-om, I told you I’m a carrotsexual, and my pronouns are ‘leaf’ and ‘rhizome.’”
Tom Lehrer covered the idea of flaccid protesting in 1965 with his tune “The Folk Song Army.”
Michael Loftus, I think, on Gutfeld!
I’ve long wanted to make a pointless-exercise video but that, in itself, would be a pointless exercise.
Your back! Good read Jum.
Rocoe