(With apologies to Miguel de Cervantes, with whom I had dinner last week after his successful book signing at Barnes & Noble.)
CHAPTER XLMVILGBT,
IN WHICH OUR GALLANT KNIGHT ENDURES THE VEXATIONS OF AN INSUBORDINATE SUBORDINATE AND ATTEMPTS RETALIATION IN AN ABSURD AND FAILING MANNER, AND OTHER OBSERVATIONS WORTH NOTING.
And so it came to pass that the ingrate Hur besmirched the honor of our hero in such manner as to invite reams of invective from his jester, whom he mistook for a mop. Our brave yet irritated knight commanded that the populace gather on the commons for a strict reckoning of the issues of the day, not least the pestilential murmurings of the rascal who had instilled such wrath in his bosom.
Ascending the hustings hastily prepared for the occasion, our intrepid knight, of his own mind as it were, addressed the multitudes whom he saw had gathered to hear his words, but were, alas, not in attendance. His trusted court hippocrat, Doctor Jill of the Delawares, also an au pair when finances were tight, attempted to rescue him from his impending humiliation by disguising herself as a talking hare, sporting a robe of the finest upholstery fabric purloined from the handsome stock of dry goods and sundries our hero had obtained from the people through deception and appropriation.
Undaunted, he outwitted the hare with a deft feint by falling up the hustings’ stairs, whereafter, tenuously regaining his footing, he proceeded to prove, through flowery yet incoherent prose, the allegations of his inferior, who was gallowed the following day just in case.
Head held high, our hero shook hands with an invisible aide, and proceeded to topple over the railing, landing in a heap, surrounded by scores of fantastical sycophants, who heaped upon him insincere praise and concern, after which he returned to his castle for ice cream and a flacon of B vitamins. Last seen, he was licking his wounds, or perhaps those of one of his courtiers’ offspring.
Uproariously funny! I forward these to my youngest sister who loves your writing as well 😂🙏🏼